27 February 2006

fears

I'm pretty freaking scared to graduate and move and get a real job. Infact, the daunting task of looking for jobs in a city I've never lived in scares the crap out of me. But I have no desire to live in Kansas or Missouri. It's like sending out resumes and interviewing for jobs makes it real. And what if I make a horrible decision and hate the place I work? I've never been a quitter, so it would be hard to just quit after awhile. And what if I can't get a job at the places I like the most. I refuse to make bad architecture, so some place crappy isn't an option. And what if having a crummy first job screws up my career for the rest of my life and I can't ever get the dream job I want? Maybe these are irrational fears, but I never express them to anyone, except Don sometimes. I worry that by having such high expectations that I'm setting myself up for failure. I've never been denied something I've gone after. Every job I've had thus far has been one that I pursued, and I haven't ever applied for multiple jobs at a time. What if I don't really like being a small fish in a giant ocean, because all I've ever been before is a medium to large fish in a tiny pond. I'm not too fond of this uncertainty gig.

24 February 2006

my boyfriend's more talented than yours

don's wood sculpture
This is one of Don's wood sculptures that he made at work. He's an artist in Kansas City's Crossroads District. So he gets paid to just play and do what he loves. I'm also pretty proud of him. He's a talented guy. That Don Semple, he's going places.

17 February 2006

one year ago today...

I left to go to Prague.
Nicole_castle
As the fourth-years have been preparing to leave for their destinations in Europe, I've been thinking about my own adventure. It seems like it was only a couple of months ago. And I wish it were starting again. And I feel as if it would be even better this time. Instead of arriving jet-lagged and overwhelmed, I would merely be jet-lagged. This time, I would be arriving someplace familiar. I'd be returning to a place that's a part of me. A place that feels a little like home.
Vltava River
Although things were strange and chaotic and foreign, they became familiar. After a while, nothing really seemed foreign, no matter where I was, and I learned how to feel grounded and comfortable anywhere. I gained this amazing confidence, this wonderful sense of self while I was there.
Spires
I was somewhat aware of the changes occurring in me while I was there, but they really clarified once I came back and started to reflect on things. And for a while, I kept thinking of these changes as something that happened while I was in Europe. But, the more I dwell upon it, the more I realize that it is still changing me, and Prague and Siena and Venice and Berlin and Helsinki and Iraklio and Trogir are still with me. The fact is, not only did I find a home in Prague, but Prague found a home in me. The mystery and magic of that city and my experience within it will always be a part of my being.
Hopefully I'll be lucky enough to call it home again someday.
Charles Bridge & Prague Castle

06 February 2006

96 days till graduation

My senioritis has started to set in. I was trying to avoid it, but it's power has proven to be stronger than my willpower and attention-span. I really would like to finish my education with some amazing studio project. We'll see how that goes. Whenever I sit down to work on it, my mind wanders elsewhere. Where exactly is elsewhere? Here's a little glimpse into my head:
Darchelle's Bridal Shower_planning desserts and decorations are way more fun than studio
Darchelle's wedding invitations_I'm designing them, and that's also more fun
Looking for apartments online_I'm gonna need someplace to live once I get a job
Portfolio_I need one to get a job, probably
Looking for jobs online_I need one [highly talented, witty, creative and organized soon-to-be architect seeking rewarding and challenging position with public-service oriented architecture firm]
Arranging flowers_self-explanatory
Baking_mmmmm, i love cake
Lists/schedules_I like to waste time writing out my plans and then not following the list I made

Clearly there is no school happening in my brain. Oh welllllllll.