22 March 2009

What's in a name?

I decided on a wedded name. The whole decision making process for that sort of weirded me out, too. 

You see, my office is ordering business cards soon. As I just started there around Thanksgiving, I do not yet have printed business cards. Nor did I ever have 'official' printed business cards at my previous gig. So I was naturally pretty excited about this. Then I realized that these would last well past May 30 of this year...and I needed to plan ahead. 

I had been contemplating what to do about my last name pretty much since we got engaged (ok - before that). The modern, professional, reasonably feminist part of me was a little freaked out about changing my last name. I shouldn't have to change my identity just to get married. That's a sexist patriarchal tradition. 

But the other part of me (I guess the romantic, don't over-think it part) thinks that it's sort of fun to get a new last name at some point in life. Because really, when do we just get to decide what to call ourselves? And I believe in family and adopting your dude's last name helps publicly establish that you are a family unit. And, since Don is the only male in his family now that can pass on their last name (no pressure at all for boy-children...) it would be nice to help in the continuation of his family name. 

Back to the business cards - I had to seriously commit to a name. I talked to my boss about it a little. And I talked to Don - who was very helpful and told me to do whatever I wanted. Great. But I did make a decision. I'm going to have four names - the 3 I was born with, and a new one at the end. That way everyone will know that I made a decision to be part of a new family. And I can decide to claim or not claim Don as I please. :-) I think it's a good compromise.


allie_b said...

i like your plan...and i think your two last names together have a nice ring!! good luck with the rest of the planning!

Anonymous said...

In our culture it's an insult to a man not to take his name and for us not to give up our maiden name.

He will say it's not, maybe even believe he believes it’s not, but way deep down in his heart 10, 20, 50 years from now it will still bug him.

3000 year old sexist patriarchal tradition regards