03 March 2010

Dear Sweet Tourist : Navy Pier

Dear Sweet Tourist,

Don't go to Navy Pier.

I know, I know - those brochures and commercials for Navy Pier - they make it look so fun and interesting. There's a giant Ferris Wheel! And other vomit inducing rides! And they have McDonalds! And Starbucks! And Bubba Gump Shrimp!


Here's the facts - Navy Pier is Chicago's best tourist trap. You want to be a generic tourist and not get any local flavor on your trip to one of the greatest cities in the world, be my guest. Then I don't have to deal with you making an ass out of yourself in my neighborhood.

There are only 5 reasons Chicagoan's ever venture to the Pier:
  1. Chicago Children's Museum - great for the kids. We actually love this institution. Thankfully they'll be leaving the Pier as soon as possible.
  2. IMAX movies
  3. Chicago Shakespeare Theatre - it's actually quite good (ignore the excessive use of oak...)
  4. To attend a fancy party in the ballroom at the end of the Pier.
  5. Your prom or event is on one of the big boats that travels up and down the lake and river and it boards at Navy Pier.
Other than that, it's over priced amusement rides, crappy food, overpriced souvenir shops, and screaming stinky tourist children. Chicago is one of the best restaurant cities in the nation - you will find none of that good food at NP.

But where will I go along the lakefront to get a good view of the city? Adler Planetarium. The lakefront trail. Buckingham Fountain. The Signature Room in the John Hancock Tower. Oak Street Beach. North Avenue Beach. Anywhere but Navy Pier.

So if you want to actually get a piece of the real Chicago, stay tuned for some of my absolute favorites.


The Maiden Metallurgist said...

I think Navy Pier offers one really good attraction- the architecture boat tours. I've been three times. It's one of my favorite ways to spend a summer afternoon.

Nicole said...

I agree! Boat tours will be featured in my next DST post!